This night, i keep thinking bout this one particular thing. Am i complicated? Am i unstable? Am i that stupid that I crying non-stop thinking how can I fix the whole things back to normal? Am i that difficult for them to even understand? Am i that complicated that they keep misunderstanding me and judge me like hell? God, I'm sick!
And this one thing keep clinging in my mind. That bittersweet feeling knowing that I used to tell so many things, shared millions memories. And the bad part is that I no longer associated with that particular person whom used to be the one I shared lots of secret and my past. That was such a tragedy indeed. You know. From all people you've got rite this moment, the one who choose to leave is the one that you loved the most. The one that understand you the most. The one that you wish will be the last person on earth who leave you. And rite this very moment, that one person walked out of your life because of some small unimportant conflict which was so happen to affect you both. How sad.
I did remember all those stupid moments we shared together. And that very precious moment can never be replaced, can never been faded by time, will never be forget by mind. Valuable. Valuable enough.
Well, I'm so sorry. Sorry for existing in your life when I could have knew that you didn't want me to be there in the very first place. I should have walked out of your life sooner, but it was my fault that I didn't want to and choose to be there for you. I should have died, or faded, or even turn to dust so that you don't even have to see my face again and again. Or should I stab myself rite in front of your eyes to be pretty sure that I'm dead enough to even appear again in your freaking perfect life?
And tell me this one thing buddy.
WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?
No choice isn't it? Except for crying non-stop, curl in my bed, slammed the door hard and counting how many days passes by since we last talked to each other..